Dear friends, what have I gotten myself into?
As you know from a couple post back, I became an Independent Beauty Consultant for Mary Kay. Independent Beauty Consultant…it sounds so official, so special. Anyway, I am very much enjoying this opportunity. Along my relatively short journey I have done facials for several friends, blogged about the experience, and recruited two team members into the MK family. It has been an enjoyable experience for me, especially since I can get behind the products and the company. It’s easy to talk and share when you believe in what you are promoting. Even if you aren’t in sales I think you can relate to what I’m saying here.
I think I made a mistake though. Right now I’m feeling so uncomfortable with a commitment I’ve made. Here’s the scoop. My Independent Sales Director is awesome. If you think I’m enthusiastic, you should meet and listen to her knowledge on the subject of MK. She knows everything about the business, the products, and has been extremely supportive of me as a new consultant. On Saturday she gave me a call to discuss my newest team member signing up, and was handing out praise like a good mentor. There’s nothing like someone who is a go getter, telling you they see that same potential in you. \
It was during the conversation when I opened my mouth, and pretty much vomited out how breast cancer had changed me. When you are at home recovering from surgeries and have time on your hands, one can become quite reflective on their life. I adopted an philosophy of wanting to live completely, and to stop waiting for perfection but instead find the beauty in the moment. I went on and on about seizing the day and how important it is to live life to the fullest. I’m sure you can see me waiving my “carpe’ diem” flag high on a hill before staking my claim to God only knows what, all the while shouting about it. Here’s where I say, don’t get me wrong, because I meant every word I said concerning my thoughts on living fully. I may be over forty and half way to fifty but I don’t feel my age. I am very much alive. Further more, I’m not done. There is so much I want to do and to experience. Given the fact we don’t know how long each of us has in this world, shouldn’t we live to the fullest everyday? Now I subscribe to this as if it were mantra I recite daily.
It is so easy to sit here telling you, my friends my thoughts and feelings on this. How though am I going to get up in front of a room of women I don’t know and spill my guts? I didn’t think about how personal my story would be to share out loud. I won’t cry. I won’t make it too personal. I am not that poor pitiful look at me girl. I’ll look over the tops of everyone’s heads and avoid eye contact. You know me. Because I committed to speaking, I will follow through. If I sound like a fool then I sound like a fool. I will do my best to be genuine, slow down, not speak to fast, and try to raise my voice loud enough for everyone to hear. Maybe I’ll get lucky and no one will show up. Best case scenario.
Wish me luck. Say a prayer for me. I want to be brave.